Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
