Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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