Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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