I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
