That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
i think my cat just said my name.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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