Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
