if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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