I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
