I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
