JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
