The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
