Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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