i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
