I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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