Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize