ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
