my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
