my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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