i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
