She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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