I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Randomize
