people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
