I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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