I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
