i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
