Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
