I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
