she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
