It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
