Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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