i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
