She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
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