clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
