so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize