I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
