Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
