thus making me awesome and them whores
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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