Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
