Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
