she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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