It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
