But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
