Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
You are a genius and a whore.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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