i jhust puked up my retainher.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
