Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
