I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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