Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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