One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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