I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
you never un-have a 4some
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
