There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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